I'm moving on up!!!!

Wow I haven't blogged in a while, i am way over due for one.

I am feeling totally bummed right now and I am overwhelmed with emotions for a reason that i don't quite know why. I just had a great weekend. I went out on Friday and had a great time. I didn't have work on Friday and I don't have work tomorrow which is something that i totally needed. But I just feel like there is something missing from my life.

I have been trying to figure out what is missing and i just cant pin point it. I know that it is not a boyfriend. I have no desire to be in a relationship right now. I just want to focus on myself and finding what i want to do in life career wise. I love my job and the people i work with but it is definitely a job that is not a long term career move for me. I just feel like I'm missing out on something.

I don't know if I am overwhelming myself with things that I want to do in life like having a great job, traveling, spending time with family and Friends. There is never enough money or time for everything, but i feel like i am just missing gout on great opportunities that will being to a happier place in life. Currently I am a leasing agent downtown and i like my job. I like the people i work with a lot which makes the job more enjoyable, but it is just not something i see myself doing for a long time. I kick myself for leaving LA so soon and not taking a stab at the opportunities that I had right in front of me. I think this brings on the feeling of me "missing out" on something.

My friend Val and I have been talking and we have some great plans for the summer but i think the best plan of all is to move out of Rochester. I really want to move back to California. I need to have more career options and do something creative. I don't want my job to take over my lift, i want it to be a part of my life and help me through life. I think when people Say "figure out something you love to do, and do it for the rest of your life will bring the greatest amount of success because you will work that much harder at it since you love doing what you do" is so true. I sit back and watch people making millions by doing something creative and just something that they love to do and i know i can do that.

Look at Rachel Zoe. Not the best role model, but the lady dresses movie stars for a living and makes a killing at it and loves her job. Look at Oprah. She sits around and talks to celebrities and people for an hour a day and is one of the richest people in the world because of it. I can do that! Musicians, actress and actors, they are all doing something creative and something they love. They had the drive to get the to a place where they are making a killing doing something that they love. I can just sit back in Rochester, NY and being a leasing agent for the rest of my life. I have way too much to offer and i can be making millions because of it. I know that just sounded cocky but, damn i need to put myself out there!!

I have never been one to sit back and take the easy way to do anything. Or just let life take its course. I can only let life takes its course so much, i need to guide it on the course i want to be on. I had all these great opportunities at my fingertips out and California and I just took it for granted. So i have made a decision to move back to LA next year. Val is going with me. If its not LA then It will either be NYC or Nashville! I am so set on doing this. I always thought that by the time i was 25 i would be one step closer to starting a life and family with someone, but i don't see that happening anytime soon and the more i think about it I cant picture that being something I want to happen. I need to be happy with myself and with my own life before i can start a new one with someone else.

I am so thankful for the great friends that I have and all the chances i get to explore new places because It just opens my eyes to life so much more and makes me realize how badly I don't want to have a normal Rochester life. I'm moving on up and out!! I need to do this now. i will be 25 next year. most of the jobs that I want to do will start out being an Intern, and who wants a 25 year old intern. So i need to get my shit together, i feel like time is ticking and there I cant be wasting it sitting here and talking about what i want to do. I need to do it, so I'm going to!!

We only live once and I don't want to be 40 years old thinking about how i wish i would have moved back to LA and tried doing something that I really love to do. Rochester isn't going anywhere and I can always move back home, but nows the time for me to make my move.